Did I just say that and an Ephifany.

Today I feel like I hit a huge milestone in being one and done. I didn't even blink when asked "are you ready for another one?" at my son's first day of pre-pre-school. My response was also priceless "Hell no". In a room full of toddlers, most of which are into repeating anything said to them I said "hell no". It is only funny because none of the children said it back to me!

I was then asked about 5 more times when we would be having another. I love the gall of people to ask when not if. As if everyone who wants a second (or for that sake a first) can just have one. Ahhh how I admire those who think unprotected sex = live baby, man I wish I lived in that world! But it doesn't work that way for so many people I know. It is sad but true.

Thankfully at this point I could have a second if we wanted. Don't get me wrong it would likely cost us a few thousand to get pregnant again, but we could come up with that money again and hopefully with in a few cycles the treatment would work and we would have a 2nd child. But as you know I don't want that, or at least I don't think I do.

And today I was able to clearly express why:

First of all Riley has fulfilled all my wants about motherhood and I don't feel I am missing anything by being one and done.

Secondly I don't buy into the whole kids need a sibling to be well rounded debate. There are many studies showing only kids thrive more than 2nd or third children. Plus I can give my son more if we are one and done, more money into his college fund, more vacations, more sports outside of school, more socialization such as playgroups.

Third I don't know that I would be a good mother to more than one child. Motherhood has been HARD for me. I don't know that I could be a good mother to another child and I don't know if I want to lose myself like I did when Riley was an infant.

Part 3 is what I still struggle with. And there are days that little feet, baby smell and infant cuddles sound very appealing, but those days are getting further and further apart, not closer together.