Confession: I always thought I would have at least two kids. I even gave friends of mine a hard time when they were thinking about being one and done. Ahhh how things have changed.
Right after my son was born I was "ready" to have a second. When others would ask how motherhood was I told them it was lovely and that I couldn't wait to do it again. Most of all I missed my baby belly and wanted a second chance to have my vagianal birth. Even when Riley was getting up every 45 minutes at night from months 4-8 I wanted another one. Then when my son was 11 months my husband lost his job and I knew we couldn't try right away. My plan had been to start trying when Riley was a year but we put that off. My husband quickly found a new job but it was a contract job. 6 months later he was out of work again, it was heart breaking for me. Mostly because I had just began to feel financially secure again. Just begun to think about a 2nd child again. Thankfully he found work quickly again and now has a job that he loves despite hating his boss.
It was at the time of the second lay off that I started thinking about being one and done. There are other things we would like to do and lets face it kids are exspensive. I often wonder if in another 6 months I will feel differently. I know I might but I also know the my head feels quite resolved that we are done. I just can't tell what my heart wants yet.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Did I just say that and an Ephifany.
Today I feel like I hit a huge milestone in being one and done. I didn't even blink when asked "are you ready for another one?" at my son's first day of pre-pre-school. My response was also priceless "Hell no". In a room full of toddlers, most of which are into repeating anything said to them I said "hell no". It is only funny because none of the children said it back to me!
I was then asked about 5 more times when we would be having another. I love the gall of people to ask when not if. As if everyone who wants a second (or for that sake a first) can just have one. Ahhh how I admire those who think unprotected sex = live baby, man I wish I lived in that world! But it doesn't work that way for so many people I know. It is sad but true.
Thankfully at this point I could have a second if we wanted. Don't get me wrong it would likely cost us a few thousand to get pregnant again, but we could come up with that money again and hopefully with in a few cycles the treatment would work and we would have a 2nd child. But as you know I don't want that, or at least I don't think I do.
And today I was able to clearly express why:
First of all Riley has fulfilled all my wants about motherhood and I don't feel I am missing anything by being one and done.
Secondly I don't buy into the whole kids need a sibling to be well rounded debate. There are many studies showing only kids thrive more than 2nd or third children. Plus I can give my son more if we are one and done, more money into his college fund, more vacations, more sports outside of school, more socialization such as playgroups.
Third I don't know that I would be a good mother to more than one child. Motherhood has been HARD for me. I don't know that I could be a good mother to another child and I don't know if I want to lose myself like I did when Riley was an infant.
Part 3 is what I still struggle with. And there are days that little feet, baby smell and infant cuddles sound very appealing, but those days are getting further and further apart, not closer together.
I was then asked about 5 more times when we would be having another. I love the gall of people to ask when not if. As if everyone who wants a second (or for that sake a first) can just have one. Ahhh how I admire those who think unprotected sex = live baby, man I wish I lived in that world! But it doesn't work that way for so many people I know. It is sad but true.
Thankfully at this point I could have a second if we wanted. Don't get me wrong it would likely cost us a few thousand to get pregnant again, but we could come up with that money again and hopefully with in a few cycles the treatment would work and we would have a 2nd child. But as you know I don't want that, or at least I don't think I do.
And today I was able to clearly express why:
First of all Riley has fulfilled all my wants about motherhood and I don't feel I am missing anything by being one and done.
Secondly I don't buy into the whole kids need a sibling to be well rounded debate. There are many studies showing only kids thrive more than 2nd or third children. Plus I can give my son more if we are one and done, more money into his college fund, more vacations, more sports outside of school, more socialization such as playgroups.
Third I don't know that I would be a good mother to more than one child. Motherhood has been HARD for me. I don't know that I could be a good mother to another child and I don't know if I want to lose myself like I did when Riley was an infant.
Part 3 is what I still struggle with. And there are days that little feet, baby smell and infant cuddles sound very appealing, but those days are getting further and further apart, not closer together.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
